Life, Death and dated undies

Soooo time for my yearly blog post

Available from The Warehouse

I had a minor health scare a month or two back and ended up in the AMU (Acute Medical unit) for a week, basically an infection in the heart, which wasn't really helped by me initially dismissing my symptoms, and then not bothering to tell the doctor all my symptoms, so I ended up on the wrong medication, and it got worse.

Anyway after arriving at hospital and then knocking myself out half an hour later, i was lying on a hospital bed slightly incoherent, when i suddenly became obsessed with whether I was wearing the correct undies.

 As the old saying goes, "Always put on clean underwear in case you are hit by a bus", but what about dated underwear and by dated I don't mean underwear with flares and velour, but underwear with the day of the week emblazoned on it.

I have this style of underwear, it was going cheap "Thursday" was missing from one pack and "Tuesday" from another pack, so I got two packs really cheap, they're undies and who cares what they look like, I am not a Millennial who works around with my jeans at mid thigh level to show off my undies, so its all good isn't it?, and i sure as heck don't wear them in order, basically whatever's top of the drawer goes on.

But no, I am lying in hospital on a trolley soaked in my own sweat, struggling to keep my eyes open with people all around and I keep getting this stupid thought in my head, "Its Thursday today but what day do my undies say", and of course I had no energy to check, my sweat soaked jeans seemed to have shrunk and become moulded tight to my body, all i am thinking is its going to be so gosh darned embarrassing to drop dead and then have the medicos find I am wearing Saturdays undies.

Yep it is stupid, but it was actually stressful, although while i was worrying about my undies I wasn't worried about anything else, so perhaps my brain decided to protect me by making me obsess over some unimportant detail.

So what have we learnt?

1. Always tell the doctor all your symptoms, even if they seem insignificant to you
2. Don't buy Undies with the days on them if you are paranoid about what people may thing and you are not OCD enough to wear them on the correct day

Oh and in case you are wondering, i was wearing a pair of plain non-dated undies.

Mixed up Animals

Meow meow,
I'm a Cow

Bark bark,
I'm an Aardvark

Moo Moo,
I'm an Emu

Swish, Swish,
I'm a Fish

Cluck cluck,
I'm a Woodchuck

Bok bok,
I'm a Springbok

Howl howl,
I'm an owl

Hoot hoot,
I'm a Bandicoot

Cluck cluck
I'm a Duck

Xmas songs I don't hate yet

Sometimes at this time of year it is hard to think of things that you don't hate, Xmas songs are one of the direst things out there is a load of dross and they are played endlessly from October till the 25th day of the 12 month.

When I was a kid I loved Snoopys Xmas, it built the anticipation, It also had the red baron which was technically war and killing so as a little boy I loved it, but now I work in retail and it is played every hour of every day, so sod it Snoopy I hope your Sopwith Camel bites the dust

Probably my two favourites

Slades Merry Xmas EveryBody

Wizzards I wish it could be Xmas everyday

Watching my figure - in the age of evil sugar

For some reason my time-line has been inundated with diet adverts and low fat stuff, so I took inspiration from this and decided to cut down to only having one marshmallow in my hot chocolate.

And this isn't just because I am a health conscious pixie, its also because I couldn't fit two of the blasted things in the cup.

For the record they are Rocky Mountain Mega Marshmallows available at a red shed near you, just ask one of the friendly staff who would be more than happy to help you, Just don't ask me.

Making Paper Bricks - for winter

Whoops and here is a very old post I forgot to hit the publish button on from a year or two ago

Okay, decided to spend the day making paper bricks out of the junkmail, Basically you rip all the junk mail into small bits, throw it into a bucket of water. then stick them into a press and squeeze the water out, then let lay them out to dry in the sunshine, and then you have a pile of paper bricks to burn in winter.
Anyway  halfway through my assistants arrived and dived right in, literally, jumping in the buckets and tearing the paper up. Next step is putting it in the press

.

Basically you rip all the junk mail into small bits, throw it into a bucket of water. then stick them into a press and squeeze the water out, then let lay them out to dry in the sunshine, and then you have a pile of paper bricks to burn in winter.

 good use of the junkmail but is pretty bloody time consuming.

All good fun till Alex spotted a lego advert in a Warehouse mailer that Lottie was busily stomping underfoot, then there was a furious session of pulling paper out of each others buckets and slapping each other with wet paper

At least one post for 2014

Well 2014 is nearly over and I have achieved absolutely nothing, I'm still not a successful author my great novel of the human condition "Ernesto Bertorelli and the chihuahua of doom", my singing career is non-existant owing to the fact i can't sing and as for acting, I am probably the only Kiwi who hasn't appeared in a Lord of the rings movie, although I was followed around the backyard by a group of hot chicks yesterday, unfortunately they were of the feathered variety!.

So on to more realistic goals, I still don't have a full time job, I have had lots of temping work, I am slowly in the process of killing assorted vege gardens round the house in the vain hope of saving money by growing me own vege.

Bah Humbug to the world

Hot Semi Naked Chicks

Lets see if that title gets me loads of hits on this page.

Picked up a couple of ex battery chooks from Lichfield last weekend, here's one of the little chappettes

They actually look a lot better than the last lot I got, although the comb and wattle are an extremely pale pink and their beaks are a bit odd.

They are fairly timid still, the last lot were much more nosey, mind you the weather is a lot colder at the mo and they have come from a place that was probably heated 24/7 so we will see what happens.
















Around October last year i got my previous battery hens, who looked like the above

and this what the surviving one looks like today

Although its not the best picture her comb and wattle are a lot redder than they seem here.